Someone asked me what I'm doing these days. I said I had quit my job and since I'm not yet sure if I should tell people I'm quilting, I didn't. So the person asked me to do some work for his organization - his Christian organization. I have done some writing for them in the past and the last time he called I refused. I said that I was not interested in writing. This time the offer was to do some other kind of work - all voluntary of course.
Somehow the person thought that I was wasting my life. That God had brought me to Journalism, to Literature and to Theology and now I was turning my back on all that. He felt that God had given me so much talent and I was not using it for Him. He said I would regret it later - the wasted years and youth. As we kept talking he finally said that I should do something I truly love and I said I was doing what I loved - I was quilting.
This didn't impress him of course. He still went on about how I was wasting my life and how he really cared about me. I don't doubt he does but I don't think he understands.
I didn't ask him then but maybe next time I will. Why did he think that God had brought me to Journalism, Literature, and Theology and not to Quilting? Why is it so important to "touch other people's lives"? Is it not important to find joy and happiness in your own?
Being in seminary and having so many "full-time Christian workers" around me makes me wonder about how we do "Christian work." We seem to want to follow the same norms that the world follows, only doing "Christian work." We want the same success, we want to be known, we want to make money but we say "God has lifted me up" instead of "Look how far I got" (I suppose). Why is it so important for us to be out there. To be up on pulpits and stages, to be "on fire" and visible, to be doing "great things" albeit "for the Lord?" What is so wrong in being on our own, working with our hands, having a quiet, soft relationship with God? Being happy, being content, learning to love, enjoying God's creation, learning to be gentle, and kind and fulfilled? Why must we all strive so hard? Everyone is striving constantly for many reasons. So we must strive too.
I have spent most of my life trying to figure out what God wanted me to do. What my purpose on the earth was. And I was miserable! I did not live. And surely when one does not truly live one is not able to truly live with God either. I don't know if I am going about this correctly in terms of explaining myself but I don't want my old life back. I have finally found something that I truly enjoy, and love and am passionate about and I want to do it. And I am grateful to God for bringing me to it. For the first time in my life I have no doubts about what I want to do with my life. Is that not enough?
There are many lives that need touching. Very often they are under our own roof. And for now, that's where I will be.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
I made roast chicken a couple of months ago but my mom was not in town. So she asked me to make it again for her and my aunt who's visiting. Two chickens this time and two salads, and garlic bread. Tiring but so satisfying.