Friday, December 21, 2012

Peace?

I have been thinking a lot about Christmas and what it all means. I don't know if I really know but I guess one has to try and understand a little bit... and then a little more... and a little more as one goes on.

I have been reading about Syria since the trouble started. The fighting, the anger, the violence, and looking at pictures of people having to leave their homes and their lives just so that they can keep their children alive. Families carrying what they can haul on their backs (including small children) pleading at barbed wired borders for entry into what they hope will be a safer place.

I have been hearing stories of neglected children in lands of peace. Of abuse and violence in the home. Of cycles of generational violence transferred from parent to child to parent to child. The things people say and do to their children sometimes is just cruel.

And just now I heard about how close to 27 kindergarten children were killed by a gunman. And I just can't...

What the... how are we supposed to deal with this? How are those parents supposed to go on? How are those children who survived going to sleep again?

"Peace on Earth" we sing.... Peace on Earth. Well the conditions were no different really. The birth of Jesus caused the death of thousands of babies right? Herod got them. Violence, war, massacre, genocide... they are part of human history... so what is Christmas? What is this Peace on Earth?

I don't know. I don't know.

My husband, a few years ago wrote an Advent Reading and called it "Weeping Peace". You can read the reading here: Candle of Peace.

He's all about the tension of human existence. The fact that good and bad, joy and pain, peace and war coexist. You cannot have one without the other. (As I understand it. I am sure he can say it better).

There is something very raw about the Christmas Story ... about God ... that gets covered up in glitter this time of the year. We have to go back and find that rawness. The grime and dirt of the stable. The fear and anxiety of Mary and Joseph. The threat to a baby's life and the death of the children.

Life and death go hand in hand. Baby is born... babies are killed. Baby is born. Baby will be killed 30 odd years later.

Life and death. Life and death.
Peace and violence. Peace and violence.
Love and hate. Love and hate.
Joy and despair. Joy and despair.

There is one or the other. And there is both at once.




Saturday, October 27, 2012

Friday Felicities

I've been meaning to link up to Friday Felicites for a while now. Oops! I just realized it's Saturday night and not Friday night! Oh well... the linky is still open so I guess its ok.

So Friday Felicites is something a wonderful quilter started on her blog. You can read all about it here. Felicty Quilts.

I have to admit that this week was not the best. However, I fully believe in focussing on the positive even though I don't always practice it. :)


So my Friday Felicity is Fall. I absolutely love this time of year and I am grateful for being able to experience it. I am thankful that I can take a walk in the park and see all the beautiful colors.

Have a good weekend. :)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Spring!

You won't know the joys of spring until you've been through a winter.
You won't enjoy the blue sky unless you've seen days and days of grey.
You won't smile when you see fresh leaves and flowers if you haven't looked up at the dried branches of the trees.
You won't enjoy the sunshine until you've spent days with none.



I hope I will get to live the rest of my days in a place where I can experience the different seasons. They are beautiful and each one brings such learning and wisdom. 
If you care to listen. 



Saturday, March 17, 2012

Mystery

I had not heard Bruce Cockburn before... but lately I've been hearing a lot of him! My husband's professor gave him a bunch of cds the other day and there were six of Bruce Cockburn. Then, The Church of the Redeemer had an evening service based on the music of Bruce Cockburn. The band that played that evening were very good and did such a great job of this particular song. And the service was beautiful.

I think Bruce is a modern day prophet. Listen to some of his other songs. He's like Habbakuk crying out in sackcloth and ashes.

By the time they played this song I was weeping. I was weeping because I realized that I spent so much of my life belittling the work of God. Not out of arrogance but out of despair. I would get so weighed down with the world, so hurt by all the violence and wickedness, disillusioned by what people were capable of and I would say that there was nothing good about the world. Nothing good about humans.

And here is this song.

You can't tell me there is no mystery
Mystery
Mystery
You can't tell me there is no mystery
It's everywhere I turn

Moon over junk yard where the snow lies bright
Snow lies bright
Snow lies bright
Moon over junk yard where the snow lies bright
Can set my heart to burn 


It is true I have felt the same way before.  It is true that I have watched the mountains, and the sea, and now the snow and it has moved me to tears. Then why do I now say that there is no point being alive. 

I don't deny God. I believe. I do. But sometimes I just don't understand why there is so much evil in the world. And I despair. And I think, we should just stop bringing more children into the world because it is dying. And why put more innocent lives into this mess?

And don't tell me there is no mystery
Mystery
Mystery
And don't tell me there is no mystery
It overflows my cup

This feast of beauty can intoxicate
Intoxicate
Intoxicate
This feast of beauty can intoxicate
Just like the finest wine

And sometimes I don't understand who I am. I don't want the things everybody else wants. I can't do a job just so I can make money. I've always been this way.

I was built on a Friday and you can't fix me
You can't fix me
You can't fix me
I was built on a Friday and you can't fix me
Even so I've done okay

So grab that last bottle full of gasoline
Gasoline
Gasoline
Grab that last bottle full of gasoline
Light a toast to yesterday

What really gets me about him... is that he's doing something with his angst. He's doing something with his despair. He's not just retreating and cowering and feeling sorry.

So all you stumblers who believe love rules
Believe love rules
Believe love rules
Come all you stumblers who believe love rules
Stand up and let it shine
Stand up and let it shine
 

Winters Pass

I was watching Judging Amy today - on You Tube. I'm on the 5th season. I absolutely love this show and have been watching it straight since February. Anyway, in the episode I watched today, a landscaper comes to the house to fell a tree that has fallen. He asks Maxine why she hasn't tended her garden and why she let it get to the sorry state is was in. Maxine tells him that she doesn't own the house or the yard anymore, her daughter does and Amy is not interested in gardens. And who gardens in the winter anyway? So the landscaper says, "Winters pass Ms. Gray. Spring will come."

And it is true. Winters pass. For the Maxine who lost her fiance, whose children seem to be having horrible marriages, who is now paying rent in the house she used to live in... winters pass. And for us in the real world... for us who are lonely, sick, poor, tired, afraid, despairing... winters pass. Spring will come. And the world will be new again and alive.

Yesterday my boss offered me a full time position at the store. I can't believe this is happening. For the past 3 months I have constantly been thinking of how I can get a job. Yes I had work part time but that only barely got us through the month. I needed two more days and I have been applying all over the place. I went to coffee shops, retail stores, bakeries... I applied to not-for-profits, call centers, arts organizations... I was willing to clean floors, sell coffee, take calls, manage programs (if they'd let me)... but I didn't hear a thing. Except, "Do you have retail experience?" "Do you have food service experience?" Finding work in this country is a bloody nightmare! And I was getting rather depressed I must say.

Until a week or so ago... I told my husband I am going to stop moping about that fact that I can't find a second job, I'm going to be happy doing the one I have, and I am going to enjoy the time I have. And... I got bold enough to say, "The right job will come to me." And it has. I can't be happier. This is what I wanted. And once again, God has granted my desire. Thank You Lord!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

It's Winter now... but Spring's around the Corner

I know my last post is about dropping the negativity but I have been nothing but negative since then. This is hard. This moving across the world, being a student wife, being a "new immigrant", trying to find work, trying to live on a minuscule budget... its all bloody hard! If any of you are planning to move here be prepared to be bull dozed!

Anyway... so I've been down for a while. I need to go through these times it appears. Part of the deal of living and learning. And after I have moped long enough I usually bounce back with some important lessons learned (Thank God!)
  1. Don't apologize for who you are. 
  2. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone is screwed up! 
  3. Maybe... you're not so bad after all. 
  4. The only way to be happy is to decide to be happy. 
  5. The only way to stop worrying is to stop! 
  6. All things considered - you still have it better than most.
  7. Be thankful. 
  8. If you have the time, do things you always wanted to but didn't have the time to before. (The things that don't need money in my case)
  9.  Be Thankful. 
I have a strange problem... I don't know how I picked it up. I seem to forget the good in the past and focus only on the bad in the present. And then I begin to believe that everything about my life is bad, and that I am bad, and that the world is bad... argh! Even I know that's disgusting! But I do it all the time and have done it all my life as far as I can remember.

So I am trying... again... to rid the negativity. To remember the good, to look for the good, to enjoy my life, and pay attention to what I have instead of moping about what I don't.


Monday, February 20, 2012

Dropping the Overcoat of a Negative Worldview

I don't know if you've seen my Dropping the Overcoat blog... well I guess you can now.  I got the name for the blog from something I learned in Celia Dawe's Yoga for Slimmers. She has a mediation session at the end of the asanas. She talks about thinking of your excess weight as a large overcoat you don't really need. So when we meditate we imagine that we are taking the overcoat off. We then stand back and objectively look at what makes us keep the coat, what factors affect our being overweight.
So yes, Dropping the Overcoat is about losing weight but its also about finding yourself, learning and loving who you are, and dropping the things in your life that you don't need to carry around anymore (or never had to in the first place). This post is going to be on that blog too.

I look at life through a negative lens. The glass is always half empty... well... the glass is really empty as far as I can see it! Things will never get better. People don't change for the good. There are no second chances. The world sucks. Nobody cares. I can never be better than I am. I'm useless. I have never done anything in my life that is worth the while. These are some ideas that I live with on an everyday basis.

I feel that as long as I live with this worldview I will not lose weight. Its an overcoat I wear all the time that then feeds other negative behavior. It doesn't let me exercise or eat right or believe in myself. So I keep coming back to a place where I believe I will never get any better and that I have wasted my life. And as long as I keep the overcoat on I will be unhappy and believe that my life is worth nothing. And weight loss or no weight loss this is no good. I have to tell myself that I can drop this overcoat and I must drop it.

Budget Bytes

Found a really good blog today. I have to admit that since we came to Toronto our food has been extremely boring. My excuse - we're too poor to eat interesting food. So the weekly food log is Dhal and Rice, Khichidi, Pasta, and Soup out of a can now and then. I have done the occasional chicken and salad meal but its rare. I'm not proud of it and I do want to turn this around. I feel like we end up getting so bored of the food I make that now and then we do have to get ourselves a burger. But, in our situation it will be better to work things out so that we can eat at home more.
Beth from Budget Bytes seems to be on a great mission to eat a good meal for less and I am following her! I hope I manage to get this going! :) Check her blog out. The recipes are simple and easy and there's just tonnes of great stuff!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Celbrating Birthdays

I called to wish a friend who turned 40 the other day and after the customary Happy Birthday! and How are you? I asked if he had any big plans. He said he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary since he doesn't really get the point of celebrating birthdays. It's not something he has achieved, it comes every year and passes by without him doing anything about it so he didn't see the point of making a big fuss about something he did not engineer. He celebrated his achievement he said, not his birthdays.

I must say I felt a little sad. I believe we should celebrate birthdays. I think it is an achievement staying alive and getting through the day, living, working, loving, caring, keeping your sanity... they're all bloody achievements! But above that I think it is important to celebrate who we are and not just what we do. I think celebrating a birthday means celebrating our very existence which is no small matter to us, and to those who love us. Surely, we matter very little in the grand scheme of things, in the rough and tumble of the universe, but our life is ours and we have only one go at it. I mean if you think about it, if you were asked to quit now... at this moment give up your life or have it taken away from you, would you do it? Would you want to die or stay alive?

I often say that it is better to be dead than to live. To have not been born than to be born into a dying world. To have not struggled, and suffered, and felt pain rather than feeling a few moments of joy and happiness. But when I really think about it, and if I'm willing to be honest about it, really honest... I think it is better to live than to die. Life is better than non-life. If there is life, there is still hope and possibility. If there is life miracles can still happen, grace can be found, love can be renewed, joy can be revisited. Life is better than non-life. I will have to admit it.

So why not celebrate? Why not be thankful? Why not acknowledge family and friends and people who love us? Why not acknowledge God (if you believe in one) who gives you life? Why not do something special to mark the day, the change, the stepping closer to death?

I think we should mark our birthdays and celebrate it doing something we love, or find interesting, or with friends and family, or even strangers. We need to take that time off to think about where we've been and who we have become. Because life is abundant and marvelous and a deep mystery. Reducing life to what you earn, or buy, or achieve is missing life itself.

Tales of an Urban Childhood

I started my Tales of an Urban Childhood blog in 2008  but didn't post very much. I then took made it private and forgot about it. I have noticed, after moving to Toronto, I have been thinking a lot about my childhood. Things come back to me from time to time - maybe its just all the free hours I have on my hands. So I'm posting on the blog again so check it out.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Accepting who I am

Sigh! You'd think I was done with my self discovery during my 30th year turn around but no... it goes on! I don't know what it is with me... I just can't be happy with who I am, or even remember the things that I actually worked on to get to where I am. I mean, I spent the whole of my 29th year trying to find myself right? And now, at 32, I feel like I've wasted my life!

I guess this time round the task will not be to find myself but to accept who I am. I lamented as I came closer to being 32. I lamented on the loss of my youth, on the lack of success, on the lack of financial security, on not having had children, on not having traveled the world, on the loss of hope, on the loss of dreaming... on being poor.

Today I was at a coffee shop and I realized that all through my life I have felt like I was in a tug-o-war with the world, with my family, with my friends. I was expected to be a certain way and I could play the part but I was never really happy that way. In playing the part I didn't take the time to find myself and so got lost in the middle somewhere... between who I really was and who I was expected to be. That is the most frustrating of all places! When one is born wanting to be different one should also be born with enough courage to rebel. I somehow missed the latter station on the assembly line and came out a pleaser who couldn't swim in the mainstream.

And now here I am... 32... still not knowing how to live with myself!

More clawing to do it seems. More fighting. I have to learn to accept myself and only then will I be free. (I hope... it's quite possible that something else will come up in another 3 years!) Oh well...

I have to learn to accept that I cannot work in the financial district.
I have to learn to accept that I cannot be ruthless in business.
I have to learn to accept that I cannot hurt someone else for my own gain.
I have to learn to accept that I would much rather surrender than fight someone else to the death.
I have to learn to accept that I may never make much money in my life.
I have to learn to accept that I need to find a world where I will be happy, and thrive, and live. And that this is possible even in the world we live in. 


Sunday, February 5, 2012

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Anna KareninaAnna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

I stayed away from Anna Karenina through my Masters in English course and through all the years that it sat on my bookshelf because I thought it too long! I even had a friend in my class at university who said it was his life's mission to open a restaurant and read War and Peace!

I did however decide to read the book and once you begin Anna Karenina, you can't stop. There's just no way! I loved it. Loved it more than anything I have ever read. When I wasn't reading the book I wondered what was going on with Anna and Count Vronsky, and with Levin and Kitty. I kept wanting to be back at home reading my book.

I must say though that I thought, as I read the book, that Anna irritated me a little. I thought her somewhat irresponsible and childish. Well, she is really with the way she behaves with Vronsky later on, and in not wanting to divorce Oblonsky. Yet, I couldn't help but feel that all was lost once she threw herself off the platform. For me, the book ended there. I had no interest in the lives of the others though right through the book I was drawn more to the life of Levin than Anna. It was Levin I related with, and thought highly off, and felt I wanted to know more about. Anna, seemed like a brat sometimes. Yet, once she died I just stopped and felt this horrible sadness. It had to force myself to read the rest of the book after a few days.

I guess I understood somewhere her pain and angst of being married to someone she did not love, loving someone she could not rightfully be with, and then not being secure about that relationship. I guess I could see her as a victim in the end. Of being wronged by society and her family maybe. At least she had the courage to leave and follow her heart even though it cost her dearly. Tolstoy creates this character that you fall in love without realizing it. He's doing something through those 800 and odd pages that connect you with this woman and then you can't help love her, and grieve for her.

Immortality by Milan Kundera


ImmortalityImmortality by Milan Kundera


Our housemate - a philosophy student - gave me this book when we asked him if he had any novels I could read. It's not something I would have normally picked up and I must admit I struggle with it - just in its form and trying to figure out what the whole point of the book is as we bounce from Agnes, to Laura, to Bettina, to Goethe. Still, I am intrigued by it and I know I must stick with it and know that I will be better for having read it.

View all my reviews

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs

This is a relaxed read and enjoyable if you're into knitting and crafts. It gives you a sense of what a craft community can offer and I know, from listening to the Stitch and Bitch group that comes into the store where I work, that they really have something going!

Its a quick read so it could very well be one for a lazy weekend at home or one of the many you take on vacation (if you're that kind of person).

I hear Julia Roberts is making a film on the book and apparently she knits all the time! On set, in between scenes! So I guess she's the write person for the role!

Speaking of Julia Robert's movies I did try reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and could get through it at all! I was so bored. She has such fantastic reviews but something just did not work for me. I came back to it thrice trying to get through it but I only got to a page somewhere in the forties I think. Gosh! Just couldn't read it.

Kate Jacobs though is very engaging and you really get into the lives of the women. I felt like I was part of their story and wanted to go back to see what was going on. Gilbert on the other hand I think kept me out. Like one of my friends said she is really very preoccupied with herself. I couldn't make a connection to the book at all.

I kept wondering as I read the book if it was made into a movie. The books lends itself very well to a screenplay and you can picture the store and the women and all the cookies quite well.  

You wouldn't think that a nice craft book would have a sad ending but... it does. And I guess its also good that it does - keeps it real. So if you're the crying sort you might want to take that box of tissue with you while you pack your book.


Sunday, January 15, 2012

A little bit of reading...

The good thing about being jobless is that you can spend a lot of time on facebook, and blogs, and youtube. And when the computer gets taken away its time for the trusty old novel to take center stage. I'm reading again. It's been a while I must admit. Well... its not that I haven't read in the past few years but I don't have a regular reading habit. I used to read a lot when I was younger. Novels mostly. When I got older I thought that I needed to read non-fiction so that I could seem erudite. Then I stopped reading.

Once I turned 30, which I do believe is my most significant milestone so far, I decided I did not care if people thought I wasn't scholarly or brilliant,  I was going to go back to my novels. And I have enjoyed them. Still, when people ask me what I like to read, my answer is usually, "I don't really read much." I'm not terribly keen on getting into those conversations for some reason. "So, what do you like to read?" "What music do you listen to?" "What do you like to cook?" The trouble is I don't really want to know what the other person is reading, or listening to, or cooking so its really not much of a conversation.

Anyway, so I've been borrowing books from a friend of mine and this was my most recent pick - A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. Four strangers meet on the roof of a tall building in London on New Year's Eve. Each one has come with the single intention of jumping off. Marty is a disgraced TV Show host who got caught sleeping with a 15 year old girl; Maureen is a 51 year old single mother of a severely disabled son; Jess is 18 and has just been dumped and is also just plain crazy; and JJ is a disappointed musician. The story is told in the first person with each of the four characters speaking to us.

I'm a visual person I have realized over the years and I like to see images. Reading this book was like watching a play or a movie. From the very first page I felt like I was in a theater, the stage was dark, spotlight on actor, and Marty begins to speak. I was so taken up by the book that I had to stop and tell my husband what was going on and he actually said, "It's like you've just watched a play."

They call this a dark comedy and apparently it got some mixed reviews. I loved it. It is dark I suppose since its dealing with suicide, depression, anger, frustration... but its very human. I think the person I feel really bad for is Maureen. She seems to have it the worst. The others, well, Marty could have prevented his downfall, JJ is dealing with regular rejection I think, and Jess... well things are fairly screwed up for her. But she's hilarious! She's just so absolutely crazy you just want to read the book to see what she's going to say or do next.

It's interesting what people can do once they've decided to throw in the towel. When nothing matters anymore you could eat pizza you didn't order for off a delivery boy, you could gate crash a party searching for the boyfriend who dumped you, you could tell reporters that you saw an angel and that's why you didn't jump, you could then go on air and continue to lie about the angel so you could make some more money, and then when the whole things blows up you could just take a vacation! What have you got to lose anyway?!

There are some really sad parts though - Maureen's explaining how she bought gifts for her son as he grew, imagining what he would have liked if he was normal, creating an image of her son for herself; Jess' sister's disappearance that clearly broke the family and messed Jess up pretty bad; and an actual suicide that the four of them witness.

I guess its a little difficult to resolve a tale such as this as dramatically as it began so the ending does seem a little subdued. Still, it's a thoroughly enjoyable read and it had me laughing out loud and wanting to get back to it every time I put it down... which wasn't that often since  I finished the book in a day and a half.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Got the blues...

Just so you know I'm not always deliriously happy and receiving indulgent gifts. I have to say I am feeling really bad these days. I haven't started work yet so that might be one reason. My younger brother and sister-in-law just had a baby and I 'm missing being there so very much. I miss what was familiar and comforting, my mum and her great cooking, my friends, my dogs, my studio, sigh! I have one job for two days which is fantastic but I really need to find work for the rest of the days.
Finding a job in this city is even more frustrating than finding an apartment! And to top it all my husband and I have to share his computer and he has papers to submit! So my computer time has been drastically cut down and I'm almost spending winter in hibernation! Not to mention I might just come out a little bigger at the end of it! The good thing I suppose is that my reading has gotten better. I read two books in three days and have two more going simultaneously.

Oh, I will blog about the books. One was bloody fantastic and I must talk about it. :)

Anyway... sigh... Just needed to rant a little.

It snowed today! That helped. I took a nice long walk in the ravine, tried to shovel some snow, and played in it for a little bit.

So not all bad but I really hope something will happen soon!

Friday, January 6, 2012

"The Father is very fond of me"

If you aren't reading this book yet I suggest you go out and get it! Brennan Manning presents a way of Christian living that is freeing and exhilarating. For all the years I've been a Christian it is only now that I really feel free in the Father's love. Now I truly believe that I am loved, and accepted and not judged. It has opened a new world for me and I urge you to get the book.

I must say that it is not only the book that changed my life so don't expect magic to happen just by reading the pages! :) But if you are truly seeking and you want to experience God in a different way this may be something you should consider on that journey.

I've had one of those amazing moments in the past few days so I wanted to share. The reading for the 4th of January is titled "Being Cherished". Manning talks about a priest who was on vacation in Ireland. His one living uncle was going to be eighty and they were to celebrate as a family. On the day of the birthday the uncle and the priest went for a walk early in the morning. They watched the sunrise and the 80 year old uncle smiled broadly. When asked why he said, "The Father of Jesus is very fond of me."

Manning says, "if you could answer 'The Father is very fond of me,' there would come a relaxedness, a serenity, and a compassionate attitude toward yourself that is a reflection of God's own tenderness."

Do you believe that the Father is fond of you? Not just loves you but likes you? That's really hard for me to believe. But I'm beginning to believe it. The day before I had written to Sew Sisters Quilt Shop asking if they had any positions open. I had looked them up even before I came to Toronto. (If this is the first post of mine you are reading then you should look up Quilting in India for the story on how I found my life's passion :) ) So I wrote to Judy the owner. And it so happened that she was at that very moment typing out a job advertisement for the store! I had sent her my blog and facebook page and she looked at it and asked me to come for an interview. And I got the job! :) It's a web administration job but has the potential to be more. I'll tell you about it as I go along.

All I've been hearing over these past months is how difficult it is to get a job in these times. How hard it is for new comers especially immigrants to find work. I was prepared to do anything but I was depressed about not being able to quilt or getting caught up in the rat race and then not wanting to quilt! The latter bothered me more. What if, after searching so hard and struggling so hard to find my calling, I lost it?!

Now, here I am, working in a quilt store! I feel as though I have been given an indulgent gift! God knows what my heart's desire is and He gave it to me! I think, The Father is very fond of me. :)


Thursday, January 5, 2012

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris


I often go through life thinking I'm a loser. That my life really does not count and that I have no great success to my name. I didn't start early enough, was not in the right places, didn't meet the right people... I blame everyone and everything that has ever happened to me for my loser life.

When I read Sedaris, yes he's extremely funny, but I didn't feel that much of a loser. Well, I felt like were all losers in one way or another and we should really stop taking ourselves so seriously! I mean, here is a man, who goes to teach a writing workshop with absolutely no preparation! All he is thinking of is what briefcase he will buy and how he will look in a classroom. It seems juvenile that an adult would think this way but he does! And he's fine! Well, he survives and now is  a best-selling author! Sometimes I would be reading an essay and just stop and think, "Who is this guy?" What sane person does these things?

And then there are stories of regular things. Un-flushed toilets at friends luncheons. Ordering at a fancy restaurant. A chat with a barber. Everyday things that he makes so interesting.

I enjoyed this book. It's even more enjoyable when you hear him read his essays. They are, if they can be, even more hilarious.

Hello 2012!

I'm looking forward to this year with a little more hope and a little less fear (I hope!) I want to focus more on trusting in God and learning from God... I know there will be things that I cannot stop from happening, that I cannot change, that I cannot predict... but I want to stand in the knowledge that God is holding me and will not let me go. I don't know what this year holds. I must say I have many moments of intense fear but to live in fear is to not live at all.
There are some things that I hope will happen this year:
  • I hope I can quilt and make some good quilts. 
  • I hope my craft gets better.
  • I hope I get a good job! 
  • I hope my family is safe and healthy and will see another year. 
  • I hope my poor Hugo finds a good home to go to... or stays till I get back. ;)
Hmm... well that's the list for now. 

All prayers answered. It was a good year.