Sunday, February 9, 2014

About Time


It's a bit strange that Rachel McAdams would do another film as a Time Traveller's wife but she's so lovable you don't really mind. About Time is quite an enjoyable movie - can be a bit slow - but has some good insights. I guess it's in keeping with my theme for this year of seeing the beauty in the ordinary.

Tim (the protagonist) learns to see that. He also learns, (from being a time traveller) to live each day with an awareness that allows him to see and enjoy every moment. Being a time traveller allows him to relive the day, conscious of everything that his day would entail. This frees him from the stress and anxiety of going through the day for the first time, without knowing what would happen. The second time round he can really stop and take it all in.

What Tim learns, which is useful to those of us who can't travel in time, is to live the first day like he would have lived the second. More aware, less anxious, more in the moment. It seems that is where the key is!

Learning in the Moment

Everything that happens to us in our life can be a learning experience or a teachable moment.
Unfortunately it is very difficult to see this while we are living in the experience. This is often apparent  to us at a later stage – when we look back. If we can find a way to experience the moment as a learning experience while we are in it – rather than reacting with negative emotion and therefore feeling hurt, disappointment or fear – we might be able to deal with those situations a little better.

Looking back, the things that bugged me the most, or caused the most anxiety, actually changed the way I did something, or thought of the thing that was an issue at the time. If I could, at that time, have said, "Ok. This is going to help me get stronger, do something better, develop myself" maybe I could have taken the negative emotion out of that experience. I would still have some anxiety I think, or unpleasantness, but I would not be so emotionally traumatized by that situation.

If we can try and learn to step out of ourselves and look at what we are going through from the outside - maybe we could think about it differently. Maybe we could see the benefits to us in the long run. Maybe we can stay calm and rationalize and understand.

And maybe we can save ourselves, and others, the hurt that we would otherwise feel.
 

And now that I'm 34...

I turned 34 in January. Coming up to my birthday I wasn't feeling very great. My 33rd birthday (which my friend calls the "Jesus Birthday") was a difficult time. The old frustrations, anxieties and sadness came to the forefront. And it did this year too. I am always plagued with these questions -  "What the hell am I doing with my life?"" What have I done with the 30 odd years I've been around." "What does life here mean?" "Is it going to be better?"

I had similar questions this year too. But this year I was able to see that my life was not so bad. And maybe the meaning of life is really in the everyday things.

And in love. Surely, Love.

I Skyped with my aunt for my birthday and she sang for me. Not Happy Birthday but another birthday song that I had not heard before. I watched her singing. Smiling. She's 76 now. I've know her all my life. She's loved me all my life. Not because of what I have done, my education, my work, my achievements - she loved me from the minute she knew I existed. As did the rest of my family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers. So much love that we don't do anything to deserve. We are connected and so we love.

And I extend this to my niece and nephews. I have loved them since I heard they were on the way. And I will always love them - no matter who they grow up to be.

And I thought - this has got to be the best gift anyone can have. Family, friends, and love.

Two songs are really important for me this year. Both Bon Jovi songs. :)

Beautiful World & Love's the Only Rule.

So - this year - I'm trying to Love. My husband, my family, my friends.
I'm trying to find meaning and goodness in life. Trying to see the beauty in the everyday. Holding on to the Mystery in the mundane.